Dan Fluggleburg, 42, of Alamogordo, New Mexico has joined the field for the Republican nomination in 2016. Fluggleburg, with only a high school diploma, was a greeter at Walmart for the past six years. He was let go in December of 2014. Fluggleburg had a remarkable performance on Black Friday with a 92% greet ratio. His manager felt that his performance had gone to his head. He started to slack on the job, expecting the all-star treatment, and when he missed the opportunity to greet two Latino males, his manager felt it was time for Walmart and Fluggleburg to part ways. He was given a severance package of $52, and two pairs of snow pants that were not selling at the Alamogordo branch. His kids were disappointed with their Christmas gifts.
Fluggleburg has been collecting $96 a week for unemployment—three-fourths of his weekly salary with Walmart—but now that his six months of unemployment is about to run up he had to ask for an extension. To get approved for an extension he needed to start applying for another job. Though he had been living high on the hog for months without having to work, he thought it was time to get back into the job market. He applied to the jobs were his skills could be utilized—greeter at people’s bank, ticket ripper at a local movie theater—but both interviewers regretfully told him he was overqualified for the position. Needing to submit a third application for approval of an extension he went down to the Alamogordo town hall and entered his bid for the Republican nomination.
“I didn’t think anyone would notice. I wasn’t even sure if it would qualify for the third application,” Fluggleburg said when asked about the recent response to his nomination. However, when he volunteered his information as to why he was let go of his previous job, The Americans for Legal Immigration PAC (ALIPAC), and The Campaign for American Values PAC poured money into Fluggleburg’s campaign. When asked why, the senior vice-president of ALIPAC explained, “He is a hero, a martyr. Of course we will support a man who would not greet a gay, illegal Mexican immigrant couple, even though it was his job.” Fluggleburg responded, “I can’t be sure they were Mexican. I definitely don’t think they were gay.”
Regardless the PAC money seems to be pouring in. The KOCH brothers themselves want to donate to Fluggleburg’s campaign. They grew interest in Fluggleburg when his answer to the question if he believed in climate change was, “I don’t know, it’s always hot here in New Mexico.” Fluggleburg also became a Baptist after he lost a bet on how many pancakes he could eat at a Denny’s when he was 23. He now volunteers his skills as a greeter for his Church’s bingo night, so now the Christian base also supports him. In fact his history as a greeter helped formed his campaign slogan, “How may I help you.” He seems to be in line with all the major positions for the Republican base—Christian, against gay marriage, against immigration, and disbelieves in climate change. The only position Fluggleberg appears to be falling behind in with conservative voters, is his support for a raise in the minimum wage.
In this large field of candidates, Fluggleberg will need to lose as little ground as possible. As of June 2015, there are already over 20 candidates declaring their bid for the nomination. Vegas opened their over/under line at 67.5 for Republicans candidates, and is expected to move more with big money already on the over. Currently Fluggleberg is polling ahead of Ted Cruz, but trailing behind a potato. It should be noted that the potato has a super PAC with Monsanto.